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He wore only his work boots and very snug denim trousers.

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They appeared to be getting more snug as the seconds passed. I stood before him, unclothed and unmoving. Because the window was behind me, he could have seen only a silhouette. He stepped toward me and I saw him more clearly. He was a powerful man, virile, a man who would take what he wanted, without being cruel. I looked up and down his beautiful torso, drinking in his smooth hard chest, his arms like bent pipes, his flat, perfectly defined stomach, the few strands of hair below his navel, disappearing into his jeans, which hid a growth of a very distinct shape.

My eyes caressed this part of him lovingly, afraid, but intrigued by its size and apparent power, and then my gaze swung to the right, where, just behind him, I had left my newspaper. I had almost forgotten all about it. I brushed past the wood-man and took it into my hands and touched it. I refound my place. Worse, many killings of whales — accidental or not, by fishing vessels or other watercraft — are not reported.

Now the wood-man was behind me, breathing on my back. I heard myself sigh. I guess I really sympathized with the Japanese and the Norwegians, in that there are indeed animals and plants that need to be harvested, lest they take over the world and rule over humans, making us do their bidding. We would wear organic-looking clothing and would live in a bunker built from scrap metal.

Amy Carter would be there, as would the daughters of Jesse Jackson. We would breed with the sons of Gil Gerard.

ssssshhhh it’s a secret….

Our children would run around, filthy, because we would know that the battle against the whales would take many generations. Those fucking whales! I would say to the assembled rebels. I would be the leader of the rebels. Yeah, fucking minke fascists! We would all raise our harpoons and do some kind of chant I would invent. All the chants would have to go through me to make sure they were good chants. I hate stupid chants.

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You ask me how the whales would rule over people if they live in the ocean and do not have thumbs. I shake my head and say, This is how it starts, humans. This is how it starts. It was a very interesting article, and I looked forward to reading it all. Humor Whales. Become a patron. Suggested Reads January 29, Recently October 7, A Modern Fairytale. USS Towers Trilogy. America's Ecosystems. Prairie Tales. Books of Faerie. Eye Witness. How to Ruin.

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